My hand turned me down
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He kissed a someone with a penis
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
