it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
