Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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