Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
