one two three fourrrrnication!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
