i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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