I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I didn't notice because vodka
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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