I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
