and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
