i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
