Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
