yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
