5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
