I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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