DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
