end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
