Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize