Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
