This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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