Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize