Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
