I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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