i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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