and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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