the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
