there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
