Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
