Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
