I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Are my feet made of real feet?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Randomize
