I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
