I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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