my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
