So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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