are you still at the devil's house?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this just has baby written all over it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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