I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
