honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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