I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
