I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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