Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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