idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
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She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize