so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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