I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is Oprah even human
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
