It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is it penis luge time yet?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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