Welp...herpes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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