please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
