i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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