office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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