i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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