Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
