Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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