Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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