life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
