sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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