Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
