Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
