We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
