I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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