I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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