So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
