He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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