he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't deserve a penis
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
