i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
