I heard we made out
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
