So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
