So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
