just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
