This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
