we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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