Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
