I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
