so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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