but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
