You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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